string fever | photos + commentary.

theme of the week: 07.mar.10

2010-03-04T09:32:00.001-08:00

"health"

2010-03-04T09:18:00.000-08:00

diptych of the week: public transportation
(click for larger version)

Hey friends,
We know, we know, it's been way too long. Something like exactly 3 months since our last post. We're hoping that we can go back to being good about this blog since it was such an inspired idea to begin with. We also didn't realize how many "fans" we had until the emails started pouring in durinng the hiatus (ok maybe not pouring, but streaming). Thanks to all of you!!
To relaunch our collective, here's the latest diptych.
Cheerio from the West Coast(s),
string fever collective

[left]: btown's pic at the Foggy Bottom metro station in Washington, DC.
"This is one of my favorite pictures of all time and definitely one of the top 5 pieces of work I've ever seen btown produce." -- shelley

[right]: At the Hazrat Nizamuddin Railway Station in Delhi, India

theme of the week: 06.dec.2009

2009-12-04T00:41:00.000-08:00

"public transportation"

2009-11-22T22:55:00.001-08:00

diptych of the week: light

2009-11-08T20:56:00.000-08:00

mixed politics

I'm in DC this week with a 10-20mm Sigma wide angle lens on my camera- my friend J loaned it to me right before I left. I've never worked with anything but the 18-55mm that came with the Canon Rebel lens kit, so having this beautiful clean lens mounted on my camera is novel. It has heft and weight. I also get to see what comes of it when I use it indiscriminately, because it's the only lens I have other than the 18-55. Shooting EVERYTHING with a 10-20 is going to be interesting. I don't have the ability to upload photos this week, so it'll have to wait til I get home.

For now, I just want to report that I happened to be here in DC when the House put the health care reform bill to the vote late Saturday night. I was at the SisterSong conference with 400 other women (of color) who work for reproductive health and justice. When it became known that the House would be voting on the Stupak amendment, which would essentially ban abortion coverage from any public or private insurance plan in the health care exchange, there was talk of marching to Capitol Hill to make sure that abortion and women's health were not once again, as they eternally are, the compromises that Democrats were willing to make. Thanks to a bunch of setbacks, we did last-minute legislative visits instead. The Stupak amendment was ultimately passed as part of the larger health reform bill. My confusion and mixed emotions feel intensified when I'm here in DC with the magnitude of this week's politics literally in the air. I understand that passing a health reform bill was very, very important this weekend, for Obama's presidency and for the momentum of this thing, but Stupak is devastating. It is a huge step backwards in health care accessibility, especially for the women who don't need any more limitations in their options. This amendment was about achieving a pro-life victory and/or about Democratic compromise, not about protecting and expanding health. What a dangerous, ugly, frustrating compromise.

more thoughts to come- thanks for reading.
b.

2009-11-07T11:26:00.000-08:00

foie gras

I just posted on my personal blog about a photo essay on foie gras. Mike Belleme is a photographer in North Carolina, and he did this piece on the controversial practice of force feeding the ducks a few weeks before they go to slaughter. It's gruesome, beautiful, and informative. Be prepared for moving and haunting images; but also, be prepared to leave duck liver (and maybe other types of meat) for at least a good long while.

cheers,
s

2009-11-06T00:39:00.000-08:00

bike fun

2009-11-05T21:41:00.001-08:00

going east, part II

I'm flying east to DC tomorrow night... Redeye, which is the only way to do it. Or at least apparently the only way I do it, because who needs to sleep when you can instead spend six hours half-awake and twitching for the reward of landing at 5:40am? To commemorate this particular redeye flight, I found this photo of me and Shelley when we first met in DC in the summer of 2006.

theme of the week: 08.nov.2009

2009-11-05T17:01:00.000-08:00

"light"

2009-11-05T16:58:00.000-08:00

diptych of the week: shadows

2009-11-05T02:15:00.000-08:00

kite strings

man dying kite strings in gujarat before a festival

2009-11-04T10:18:00.000-08:00

little ones

spent some time with my niece and nephew last week. cute as buttons.

2009-11-03T01:23:00.000-08:00

praying

2009-11-01T13:35:00.000-08:00

everything but statues

for all your worshiping needs

2009-11-01T13:19:00.000-08:00

bikes on the beach (and other findings)

with...brooms? It's India: anything's possible.

2009-10-31T13:05:00.000-07:00

Power Rangers

A weaver preserving a generations-old method of weaving (called Tangalia) in a rural village in Gujarat. How I love his shirt.

2009-10-25T00:44:00.000-07:00

Diwali Celebrations

here's some of the kitschy things you can get in the markets in the days leading up to Diwali (The Festival of Lights/biggest holiday of the year in India). can't get enough.

theme of the week: 25.oct.09

2009-10-24T00:35:00.000-07:00

"shadows"

2009-10-23T11:48:00.000-07:00

diptych of the week: photo of a photo

2009-10-12T22:28:00.000-07:00

going east

GOING EAST

Elsewhere,
a babe's first words might be
ma ma, or da da
In Berkeley,
babies are born in a
lotus position
Their first word is
Karma
There might be more
Buddhists in Berkeley than
in Tibet
Some are from Tibet
but many are from
Brooklyn
Bishop George Berkeley
you got it backwards
It's "Go East, Young Man,
Go East."

-Ishmael Reed

theme of the week: 11.oct.09

2009-10-12T01:24:00.000-07:00

"photo of a photo"

2009-10-12T01:01:00.000-07:00

diptych of the week: red

2009-10-10T00:15:00.000-07:00

corner of MLK and MacArthur

2009-10-06T03:46:00.000-07:00

classic mumbai

i cannot name all the reasons i loved this moment.

The palm trees, the perfectly tended grass, the architecture...this scene makes me feel like I've time traveled back to 1930 and I'm looking out on some British admirals playing cricket. I half expect to see a turbaned Indian pop into the frame carrying chilled lemonade to serve them.

at the harbor. please don't make me leave here. ever.

taj hotel. (yep, the one from 26-nov-08). one thing i love about living here, as in california, is seeing so many birds. birds birds birds.

pappa. gateway of india.

2009-10-06T00:49:00.001-07:00

snapshots of a weekend

2009-10-05T02:14:00.000-07:00

getting ready for garba

I was in Gujarat last week to celebrate the end of Navratri, which is a pre-diwali 9-day celebration, and a big part of Navratri is a dance festival called Garba.

Here's a couple of pics from that night, but if you want to read about what all went down, check it out here.

cruising in Vadodara

I didn't have anywhere to put my cell phone, so here are some important numbers which I hoped wouldn't rub off.

my cousin looking for our car at the end of the night

jingle, jingle

at our mini after-party

2009-10-05T00:43:00.000-07:00

marketing II

It turns out that Tata's Himalayan brand water has many cutesy little paragraphs on its 1 L bottles, not just the one I posted last month.

"I look back on life - it's funny how things turn out. you, the creator of beeping sirens and honking cars, yearn for the solitude of the mountains. You, a connoisseur of fast food, now gaze at water that took years to gather natural minerals as it trickled down the Himalayas to within your reach. And I, some of the purest water in the world, stand here, trapped in a bottle.

Come, enjoy the irony."

[eye roll],

shelley

theme of the week: 3.oct.09

2009-10-02T12:29:00.000-07:00

"red"

hi friends,
we sort of skipped a week in there since i wasn't able to update, but hopefully you've seen the recently posted "typical morning" diptych and my theme pick for this week is "red." Stay tuned for our bon's diptych next Sunday on Oct 11! In the meantime, make sure to check back often because I have a lot of catching up to do and will be posting from all the happenings of last week.

cheers from Mumbai!
shelley

2009-10-02T12:06:00.001-07:00

diptych of the week: typical morning

(click for bigger version)

[left]: Berkeley, CA

[right]: Mumbai, India
At the music school, we have class with our guru every morning. He's a big deal, the head honcho. When he arrives on the floor, everyone frenetically moves to open the door, turn on the lights, make him comfortable, and then settle into class quickly. We never really know when he's going to come though. It could be 9:30 AM, 10:00, 10:15 or anywhere in between. Since my bedroom door is exactly opposite the classroom door (pictured here), most mornings I am peeking out my door every 3 minutes to make sure I haven't missed his arrival. The tell-tale sign is if his slippers are on the mat...in which case you better get your butt inside because he's waiting. (I should add that he's one of the gentlest people I've ever ever come in contact with. Out of respect and humility, the tradition is to keep the guru from waiting on his students.)

2009-09-26T23:41:00.000-07:00

something about that jesus position just felt so right

During college, I used a desktop computer that was totally reliable all the way up until the moment it spontaneously exploded one day during my senior year, almost definitely as a result of my downloading one too many mp3's and Davey Havok videos. I wasn't one of those computer users who did any kind of backing up of anything, ever, so it wasn't just a matter of getting a new computer. I needed this specific computer back. And when I mentioned to my parents that my computer had exploded, they took it to their Computer Guy, who was the friend of a friend's cousin's sister's brother-in-law's ex-girlfriend's dogsitter, a man completely unaffiliated with any legitimate computer repair service, and he solved the problem by reinstalling Windows on my computer. A bootleg, unauthorized version of Windows. And the best part about this bootleg version was that it came complete with pop-up security updates informing me that it -- IT, ITSELF! -- was unauthorized, warning! warning! warning! Needless to say, my computer was returned to me as a withered shell of its former self, albeit with all Davey Havok videos intact.

Shortly after that, I invested in a laptop and my life turned into one long orgasmic caffeinated possibility of working on a computer IN COFFEESHOPS, and the old withered shell of a computer was tucked away into the closet. And I had every intention of pulling all of my old files off of it and then recycling it, but it took me a while to feel up to the job of hooking it up to a monitor and navigating its unauthorized innards.

And so it had been a while, but I finally spent a few hours the other night going through old college-era journal entries, photos, academic papers, etc., off of that computer. Among other files I found, there is one ongoing Word document that served me as a journal between January 2000 and October 2005, and it is NINETY-NINE PAGES LONG. Ten-point font, single spaced. It is the Holy Bible of my confused, sarcastic, thoughtful, despairing, earnest, undergraduate, 18-to-23-year-old mind.

For example:

My Undergraduate Mind on things that are attractive in a man:

He is sick and has been complaining for the last two days, every time we talk on the phone (once a day), and sounds like a goat. God I miss him. I have been thinking about him and writing sappy poetry and dawdling for days. I have images of knocking on his door tomorrow, throwing myself onto him, and doing indecent things in front of the fireplace. I keep replaying scenes in my head, like that time he came into my room while I was trying to study, and I lay with my head in his lap while he told me about the time he singed his six-year-old ass on an open light bulb while making butt shadows with his brother.

My Undergraduate Mind on having a "mid-life crisis" at the age of 19:

Last night I watched “Road to Perdition” at AMC Mercado 20 with Jack, after he called asking me if I wanted to go do something. It was the weirdest thing… I think I wanted him to kiss me. It was like… the desire to do something uncharacteristic and stupid, like having a pointless fling. I think this whole mid-life crisis thing may be the end of me. In fact, after the movie ended—in that one surreal point that always happens after a movie, where the theater is still dark and the whole audience is weirdly united by the movie experience—I was going down the stairs and Jack put his hand on my back. Maybe it was just to stabilize me in the dark, but in that moment, it felt as though we had gone strangely back in time to senior year while we were going out, and I kind of automatically reached back as if to invite him to hold my hand. Then I thought better of it, converted my gesture to a simple hand-flap as if to acknowledge his presence, and felt stupid. Then we didn’t talk about anything except the movie on the ride back home, but I think we could have had quite a discussion about Other Things had one of us brought something up. I think it’s a good thing that we didn’t. I just hate feeling lonely. I hate feeling like myself, sometimes… in the sense that I want to lose myself in new experiences, and possibly stupid ones too. I wouldn’t call them “self-destructive” activities, in the interests of avoiding sounding suicidal. Instead, I’ll just quote Samuel L. Jackson in “Pulp Fiction”: I sometimes feel like having one of those experiences that “alcoholics call ‘a moment of clarity.’”

My Undergraduate Mind on learning that a late-night drunk dial from an ex-boyfriend does not mean that he loves you and wants to have babies with you:

I checked my voice mail yesterday afternoon and found that Jeff had left me a drunken message at 2:30 a.m., saying that 1) he was drunk and just wanted to talk to someone, and 2) he had an extra ticket to the Cal basketball game on Monday and I could go if I wanted to. As usual, I interpreted this message to mean that he must still care about me on some level, if he’s gonna call me to talk to me at 2 in the morning. This interpretation was, in fact, a mistake. I finally got up the nerve to call him back around 8 that night, and he not only said that he did not remember leaving me a voice message at 2 in the morning, he also completely forgot about me after he asked me to hold on while he answered call waiting. After waiting about two minutes, I hung up and waited for him to call me back once he was done with the other call. Five minutes passed, I was getting cold (I was sitting on the balcony, the only place in the house where there’s decent reception), and I called him back. Oh shit, he said. He’d forgotten about me completely, and gotten sidetracked when Dom called him. Thanks, bud.
So I’m going to the basketball game on Monday night, but I’d like to consider this as being merely a situation wherein I take the ticket because it’s free. I harbor no particular expectations about seeing him. For all I care, he can ignore me completely all game long, and I’ll enjoy the game for the sake of the game.

Haha! Of course you will! Good luck with that reaction formation!

There are also, of course, photos. So many photos. This one is one of my favorites.

Annie, Allyson and I used to do this OFTEN during the year we lived together in the dorms. It was always Allyson in the middle, Annie and I flanking her on either side. For some reason, all three of us found it extremely comforting. We would just lie there in the middle of the hallway and talk. We called it the Recreation of Jesus on the Crucifix.

Then there was Adam, my best friend in college, my buddy, my first real brother in all things.

We took endless road trips together, particularly the San Francisco-to-LA stretch; went together to Cal football games, concerts, college parties and everything in between. We once spontaneously drove all night to Las Vegas to catch a free Red Hot Chili Peppers concert over July 4th. We saw more of each others' embarrassing moments than we knew how to give each other shit about. We talked about the hard things and joked about the hard things.

And, despite all of the confusion, there were lots of good times:

My 21st birthday bonfire at Ocean Beach (San Francisco), which I remember fondly. We grilled hot dogs.

With my friend Verna on a New Year's road trip to Joshua Tree, Palm Springs and Santa Barbara.

I've been embarking on a self-documentation project of sorts -- sorting through old photos, journals and videos -- so probably more to come. It's a trip to look at myself with different eyes.

2009-09-24T20:20:00.001-07:00

local?

really not sure if the food i eat is "local" like bon is enjoying regularly in cali, but damn it's good. i don't care what anyone says. my esophagus loves cayenne. esophagus, you will eat it and you will like it, you hear me?

2009-09-24T20:09:00.001-07:00

pistachio ice cream

theme of the week: 20.sept.09

2009-09-21T16:18:00.000-07:00

"typical morning"

2009-09-21T16:13:00.001-07:00

diptych of the week: geometry

(click for bigger version)

2009-09-18T01:04:00.000-07:00

2009 indie erotic film festival

I count myself lucky enough to live in a town where, within a span of 36 hours, I can go from a town hall about health care reform, to a farmer's market where I play with kids and eat cookies in the sun, to an indie erotic film festival hosted by sexologist Carol Queen and a trio of drag queens (Lady Bear, Hugs Bunny and the unflappable Peaches Christ).

I'd never been before, but this year's was the fourth annual Good Vibrations Indie Erotic Film Festival (IXFF). Tonight's screening was held at San Francisco's famed, beautiful Castro Theatre. We got to screen everything from independent porn to an Israeli black+white animated film, and the audience's choice winner of the night, by a landslide, was director Travis Mathews' "In Their Room." (Check the site if you get a chance- a full 20-minute film is on there, as well as some really intriguing and witty interviews with the film's subjects. The film features a candid look at men, alone in their bedrooms, sharing of themselves and their own intimacies.)

Then, having faithfully completed our cheering duties, my friend C-Monkey and I headed down the block to Orphan Andy's for late-night diner grease.

And now, trooping off to bed. G'nite!

2009-09-17T20:08:00.000-07:00

constellation

This cake-eating cutey-patootey lives here and we hardly ever say a thing to each other even though we meet every day. We mostly giggle together and he sheepishly comes up to me if I have fruit in my hand to gesture for a piece. His name is Nakshatra which means "Constellation" in Sanskrit.

2009-09-17T19:48:00.000-07:00

3 photography projects of note

1) Journey to Midway

Chris Jordan is an incredibly creative photographer who documents humans' impact on the planet with scaled images. The figures are staggering: "2.4 million pounds of plastic pollution that enter the world's oceans every hour; 1,000,000 trees cut down every year; 9,000,000 American children without health insurance; 2,000,000 plastic bottles used every five minutes; 2,300,000 adults incarcerated in U.S. prisons." It's horrifying. He is currently in Midway Atoll with a team of five "media artists" documenting the Pacific Garbage Patch. They have some sweet pics and they're posting about every detail of their journey.

2) 30 Mosques in 30 Days

Read about this project to visit a different mosque in NYC for each day of Ramadan and photo blog about it. Their pictures are good, but their insights are even better. Among other topics, these two south asians talk about visiting mosques from other parts of the world, and on feeling welcomed and othered. digging it.

3) Trapped

I stumbled on this gold-medal documentary piece in the winning images section of College Photographer of the Year. Can't believe what "kids these days" can achieve. Trapped is photojournalist and Ohio State alum Jenn Ackerman's piece on Mental Illness in America's Prisons. Be prepared for shocking and violent images.

2009-09-17T18:40:00.000-07:00

telegraph avenue 9/11

2009-09-14T22:16:00.001-07:00

ok, netflix or theater?

This past weekend marked the first rain of the season here in the Bay, which is always an occasion that I mark with internal fanfare and a feeling of deep content. It's the closest we usually come here to a change of season, and in the high days of "Indian summer," waking up to rain is a perfect peace.

On Sunday I holed up indoors with Sve, looking at photos and old journals, until we decided to plunge outdoors for burritos and "(500) Days of Summer"... fitting, on a rainy night.

theme of the week: 13.sept.09

2009-09-13T08:08:00.001-07:00

"geometry"

2009-09-13T07:51:00.000-07:00

diptych of the week: favorite chair

(click for bigger version)

[left] btown. - avocado green armchair, Berkeley, California
[right] shelley - view from her usual seat at a Mumbai cafe with a relaxing cafe mocha

2009-09-11T18:53:00.000-07:00

window-shopping

2009-09-11T10:51:00.000-07:00

fruit cart

seeing this felt like a rare vision of abundance around here:

2009-09-10T23:54:00.000-07:00

just to say this out loud

I want to buy a Canon 5D (I think).
I want to go back to school.
I want to sell my Ford Ranchero to buy a Canon 5D.
I want to take photography classes.
(It really never occurred to me before that photographers can and do take photography classes, they don't just cobble skills together themselves.)
I want to learn.

2009-09-10T23:36:00.000-07:00

bike at rest

2009-09-10T04:22:00.000-07:00

razón collective - holy moly

Hi friends,
This is mostly a space for bonnie and me to share our collaborations and we also would love for our friends (and wider photography community) to interact, post their comments and link to their own projects so we can learn from each other. "Cool photography web sites I ran across" technically doesn't fit in our mission, but I was so moved by this site that was posted on a list I'm on, that I couldn't help but share it.

The site is The Razón Collective and it's a group of five photojournalists who are

"visual storytellers pursuing stories independently, but sharing, inspiring, and motivating each other to seek and convey truths and reasons behind every story to be told."

I'm a sucker for South Asia, so I started with Jared Moossy's photography because his are images from Afghanistan. beautiful. poignant. harsh. vivid. horrific. breathtaking.

I was moved by so many photos throughout the whole site that I couldn't possibly link them all here, but I'd highly recommend you check them out when you're not rushed and you have a few minutes to reflect on the human condition (pain and joy alike) through images.

You can join them on Facebook, too.
shelley

2009-09-08T23:28:00.000-07:00

envisioning

On Saturday I drove north with Minh, Josh and Joey to 13,000 acres of sprawling ranch. This is northern California on an afternoon in late summer.

2009-09-08T08:58:00.000-07:00

fab india

I went to Fab India today. It's a trendy store that reminds me of Pier 1 except 1) they carry clothes as well as home furnishings and 2) the goods aren't imported. They're actually made in India and sold in India. They sell lots of bright linens that look so pretty all neatly folded on the shelves.

Going back to my argument about "wannabe-ism," I feel that this is an example of reclaiming traditional Indian style. It's obviously catering to a certain elite class because the prices are sometimes exorbitant, but that's sort of the point. They have brilliantly marketed cottons and "ethnic" prints to be chic and trendy. Instead of selling the idea of Italy to Indians, this sits much better with me. That is, assuming that selling an idea or image is necessary at all...but that's a whole other debate.

Knowing that if anyone saw me taking pics, they would probably escort me to the door (they are very strict about that kind of thing in this country; I get scolded all the time for taking pics in public), I snuck a couple of pics while standing behind a curtain.

2009-09-07T22:49:00.000-07:00

jasmine incense

Living by the beach is fabulous in many ways, but the intense humidity is one downside. I don't feel very uncomfortable, actually, since I grew up in Atlanta. In my book, if you don't have at least a few days where you are walking down the street but feel like you're sitting in one of those saunas at the gym, then you haven't experienced a decent summer. One unfortunate side effect, however is that all the rooms in the dorms here have a stale, musty smell. My solution is jasmine-scented incense. It's only halfway covering up the stank, but this remedy will have to do for the rest of the monsoon season.

theme of the week: 6.sept.09

2009-09-06T22:10:00.000-07:00

"favorite chair"

2009-09-06T22:03:00.000-07:00

diptych of the week: artificial

(click for bigger version)

[left] There's an unmarked, largely artificial Berkeley-Oakland border running along Alcatraz Ave that becomes most pronounced for me whenever I'm surfing Craigslist rentals listings. At this divide, I often see properties described as "practically in Berkeley" when it's an Oakland zip code. In my experience, this means either 1) the kind of landlord to stay away from; they live elsewhere and don't care about the experience of living in the area, and sooner or later you'll get kicked out when they decide to put the place on the market (*cough Andrea), or 2) the kind of landlord who's responsive; who wants to say to those who are unfamiliar with the area, You should check this place out- North Oakland has its own sweetness.
--
[right] I found this posted at a Barista coffee shop in Juhu as part of their current "Escape to Italy" ad campaign. I took this picture because I've been thinking about what it means to truly be authentic in this modern India. In being "opened up" to the West, I find that in the past few years, India has transformed, and its establishments (and people and culture) are facing a sort of identity crisis. They want to be chic and posh, hip and modern (for example, by cultivating a US-style Starbucks cafe culture), but that doesn't necessarily match traditional Indian style, so other cultures' styles are adopted and appropriated. Consequently, we are left with a lot of what I call "wannabe-ism," e.g. really striving with all the intention in the world to be something "better" but missing the mark. I wonder if, in time, people will see through this and start redefining "Indian" to include modern, civilized, hip, and cool.

2009-09-05T11:31:00.000-07:00

trying to learn

I'm learning how to read and write Hindi. I can read, but it's pretty slow. I'm still sounding out words and probably sound like a 1st grader trying to read out loud so I spare myself the embarrassment and generally try not to do this in public. When I'm writing out assignments, even though it takes 10 times longer, I've been pushing myself to do so in Hindi. A page from my notebook:

2009-09-03T22:42:00.000-07:00

from the string fever collective, berkeley branch
Hey everyone, thanks for the feedback and emails so far, it's been amazing. And pretty nerve-wracking. Ambiguity is scary- What if people don't like it? What if there's just dead silence because it sucks? I didn't get support about stuff that mattered to me as a kid, so I have a poor understanding that the most important thing is that I just do what I do and have fun with it... which I have been, very successfully so far.

So our thriving international collective of two is getting this thing rolling, and yesterday night I got home to a timely little package waiting for me, mailed from Mumbai and addressed to:

"STRING FEVER COLLECTIVE, BERKELEY BRANCH"

(that's my thumb)

It contained a small battered journal. Nice!

OK, SOME BACKGROUND:

Shelley and I met at a leadership training in Washington, DC, in the summer of 2006. We'd both cut off all of our hair right before arriving in DC (Shelley had shaved her head), and I remember having some conversations about what that was like for us. We hit it off pretty immediately, and since then we've had lots and lots of conversations, about head-shaving and otherwise.

One topic of conversation that has come up OFTEN is the theme that this blog is named after: the metaphorical strings that all lead to different possibilities and life paths. Whenever I think about this, I see myself standing in the middle the world, holding the ends of 827176 strings that all lead off into different directions, needing to let go of some of them so that I can follow others to where they go. Some strings I'm holding: Grad school? Backpack and travel through South America? Save up for the down payment on a house in Oakland? Live and work and surf in Hawai'i? Move to Brooklyn? Learn to farm? For myself, the difficulty has been in letting go. I have felt emotionally homeless for a long time and I'm also blessed with an infinite number of possibilities around where to go and what to pursue- no real constraints other than time, a nonprofit salary and not knowing myself very well. All of the different possibilities have all held the idea and possibility of Home.

So a couple of years ago, Shelley suggested that we keep a journal together to write and think about all of this biznatch. We mailed it back and forth a couple of times, but then the last time I saw it was when I mailed it back to Shelley in April of last year, whereupon she *cough* squirreled it away, re-found it, squirreled it away again, and finally took it to India with her.

And then I got home last night and there it was. I got to read through all of the things I'd written. Here's an excerpt from something I wrote on Dec. 22, 2007, before leaving for Chiapas:

I had a moment, while driving around running errands today, where a clusterfuck of thoughts went through my head re: Mexico--
--Damn, I really want to go to that club opening on Saturday night, but I won't be here.
--Wait... did that travel agent ever get back to me about my flights within Mexico?
--Did she ever ask for my credit card info?
--WHAT IF I NEVER GOT BOOKED?
--Hey, maybe I don't have to go...
--Wait, I want to go.
--Oh shit, what if she never booked me?
--Damn, I want to go to that club opening.
This happens every time, always- the ambivalence and push-and-pull that guarantees, every time, last-minute doubts and scrambling. For what? For 12 days in Mexico. My brain is trying to make decisions as though it's a question of moving there.
I think that's why it's so hard for me to let go of strings. Every move I make feels paramount in a way that is disproportionate to reality; and everything that I give up when I make one decision also has consequence that is disproportionate to reality.

I want to say that I've gained clarity on this high-stakes ambivalence, but I'm still workin on it. What I do know is that I'm here in Berkeley nine years after I first moved here. Most likely I would have been decently okay if I'd followed any of the other strings on my list, but a few years ago what I did instead was: put myself in therapy to figure out why I was so f'ing unhappy, smoke a lot of weed, make some career decisions, move from Oakland back to Berkeley, take a handful of road trips, and start trying to cultivate a sense of Home inside of -- instead of outside of -- myself.

It'll be interesting to come back and revisit this question again of choosing without regret- to stop and breathe, take photos, and see where this string goes.

2009-09-01T11:12:00.000-07:00

rock n roll is my life

i like how the shadows create a sort of vignetting on the right side of the frame.

2009-09-01T08:08:00.000-07:00

dark and stormy

The Albatross, Berkeley, CA.
I <3 this photo.

2009-09-01T08:06:00.000-07:00

i do like instant gratification after all

Last week my friend Rituski surprised me with a Polaroid camera that she'd picked up at a garage sale for five bucks. We didn't know if it worked or not, so I ordered some film and tested it out. And whaddya know, Hallelujah! I've been carrying around the Polaroid ever since, which is a bit like owning a laptop and opting to lug around a typewriter instead. Just for the novelty of it.

I've been hearing, ever since last year when Polaroid announced that it was going to stop manufacturing its instant film, that people have been scrambling to stockpile Polaroid film as though instant Polaroids are the remedy against the coming Apocalypse. The Polaroid Y2K. From my own recent buying experience, the remaining back supply of Polaroid film now comes out to about $2 per photo. I wonder how many poor artists are investing in film instead of in down payments. And thinking that it's totally worth it.

The good news is that, while the film is expensive, the camera itself is going the way of vinyl, which means that these days you can buy an operating Polaroid camera at a flea market for five bucks. And to meet the renewed demand for instant film, The Impossible Project hopes to start producing Polaroid instant film by next year. So I'm holding my breath. And buying film.

2009-08-31T08:44:00.000-07:00

outside lands festival

I've been a Pearl Jam fan, in all of my anger and angst, for the better part of my teenage and adult life; have listened to their live recordings and imagined being at one o' their shows somewhere in the world- in Boston, Seattle, Verona, Prague. This past Friday night at the Outside Lands Festival in Golden Gate Park, I finally saw Pearl Jam perform live for the first time. I was very, very far away from the stage, most of my fellow fans were blazed out of their minds, it was the end of a long week, and Eddie Vedder was just as unintelligible as expected. It was great. AND I can honestly say that I enjoyed myself more dancing to the only other band I got to see that night, a super fun Mexican band called Kinky (top photo) introduced to me by my friend Adam. I used to see a lot of bands live, and not so much anymore, but each and every show brings new bands to know, new albums to buy. Heart-thumping thrilling every time.

theme of the week: 31.aug.09

2009-08-31T06:33:00.000-07:00

"artificial"

2009-08-30T06:30:00.000-07:00

diptych of the week: on the road

My diptych choice based on Bonnie's theme "on the road":

(click for bigger version)

2009-08-30T04:32:00.000-07:00

washed up

The idols of the elephant god, Ganpati, are taken to the ocean to be deposited as the final act of a week long festival with fanfare and lavish rituals. Invariably, though, some don't make it to the bottom of the sea. The next day, on my walk to the beach, I encountered countless "decomposed" idols. They looked morbid, sad, and sacrilegious.

2009-08-29T04:07:00.000-07:00

dancing in the streets

2009-08-28T17:47:00.000-07:00

sand dunes at sunset

Last night I crossed the Bay Bridge into San Francisco to meet up with my friend Amy at Ocean Beach. Got there just in time for sunset. We sat and talked about the color of the sky, the flight patterns of the birds. Ocean Beach is one of my favorite places on earth. I needed it. I really, really needed it.

And now, friends, off to the Outside Lands Festival....

2009-08-28T04:50:00.000-07:00

marketing

label reads:

I am so pure I make a wordly-worn out cliché like "pure" seem new again. So pristine, I could have only survived twelve hundred meters above the rest of the world. So removed, the only things I've been in contact before you are sun, wind, earth, and snow. I am one of the purest things you've laid your hands on. I hope you're thirsty.

Plus, it's called "Himalayan." Genius, really. Who wouldn't want to put this to their lips after reading that? Also worth mentioning is that this bottled water is distributed by India's largest business group and multinational company, Tata.

2009-08-27T11:16:00.000-07:00

breakfast with joey

2009-08-27T04:04:00.000-07:00

Introducing Mansi

Say hello to this beauty. My harmonium, Mansi, got here today. From a mini photo shoot:

2009-08-26T21:40:00.000-07:00

passing

Today flags flew at half-mast to honor the late Senator Edward Kennedy.

2009-08-25T21:45:00.000-07:00

i am not trying to start a food blog, but

Lately I've been obsessed with tomatoes like Shelley's been obsessed with Juhu Beach. This is amazing only because I used to feel about raw tomato the way someone might feel about, say, raw bacon- like maaaaybe I'd eat it if it were mixed in with a whole bunch of other stuff and slathered in Ranch dressing and you could guarantee to me that I wouldn't die afterward, but really now, why not cook it first? Then I discovered that good tomatoes actually taste good. So in loving tribute, I made some pasta with raw tomato last night (out of this cookbook).

It was pretty bomb. And now I swear I'll stop being one of those people who make food and then take photos of their food. Unless I make something like this, in which case I will be taking LOTS of photos of my food.

2009-08-25T10:43:00.000-07:00

Jiya

One year old Jiya in a birdcage swing

2009-08-23T11:36:00.000-07:00

Ganpati Festival

Today was the start of the Ganpati festival which is a huge deal in Maharashtra. Ganpatiji's statue was specially made and then welcomed into the home today, first day of the festival. There was a big ceremony this morning (the floor was painted with footprints as if he'd walked in on his own) and there will be events this whole week. The culmination is in seven days and will involve a parade to the ocean...! I don't know much more than that, but based on how it started off, I'm sure it will be extravagant. I'm posting an unusual number of photos, but know that this is just 1% of the pics I took and this as much as I could narrow it down despite my best efforts. ;-)

theme of the week: 23.aug.09

2009-08-23T09:48:00.000-07:00

"on the road"

2009-08-22T11:21:00.000-07:00

sand sand

I went to Juhu (again) and took lots of pics (again). I can't' help myself! But I promise that I will try and diversify soon. In the meantime, what I noticed today is all the intricate designs that the sand makes. I hung out, nose inches from the sand, bent over in curiosity, for at least half an hour walking all over the beach looking at the sand and trying to figure out what they reminded me of. The designs look so organic, so spontaneous and at the same time like they have been carefully formed, and intricately designed. How??

The first one: Is it a patch of trees on the edge of a lake and their reflection? The "branches" look so much like roots, too. Or veins. Or capillaries. Or an aerial view of a delta with little river estuaries spreading out into the sea. Or like snowflake designs. And probably so many other perfectly designed things on this green earth of God's.

The second one: Another aerial view but of the Rocky Mountains? Is there a valley in there somewhere? There's water running over some of the sand in the frame and the slowed shutter speed makes that area look like muscle tissue. And probably a whole bunch of other things. I was fascinated like whoa.

2009-08-21T15:22:00.000-07:00

farmer's market bounty

I finished reading Barbara Kingsolver's Animal, Vegetable, Miracle a little while ago. Haven't read Michael Pollan yet, but he's next on my reading list. I'm re-reminded of why it feels important to me to support local farmers and sustainable food sources. Kingsolver does a super job of addressing a lot of the myths associated with eating locally, such as that it's more expensive (it's not), that buying imported produce somehow helps poor farmers (instead of, say, Dole Corp.), or that it just doesn't matter.

If anything, I'm busy enough that Safeway can kinda have its appeal--not to mention that I get to sample the gummy bears out of the candy bins... shhhh--but when I can make it to the farmers market, it's a total pleasure to sort through 8712 different varieties of locally grown fruits. And the samples of organic peaches are ACTUALLY free, not just... you know, "free."

2009-08-21T11:17:00.000-07:00

can't get enough

oh, beach, I don't understand how you keep looking more and more magical.

I don't know what they're carrying in the first pic, but I couldn't resist the silhouette.

In the second pic, I saw a washed up piece of cloth or a plastic bag that was blending in so beautifully with the sand.

2009-08-20T02:11:00.001-07:00

view from autorickshaw

2009-08-19T21:09:00.000-07:00

"my" entrance to the beach

It's not exactly mine, but i like to think so because everytime i walk down this ramp, it's like being there for the first time. I get the same tinge of excitement and there's always a possibility to encounter the unknown, something new. I took this on my morning walk today. Have i mentioned that i get to see the ocean everyday?

2009-08-19T16:01:00.000-07:00

minolta

A couple of months ago, I won a furious bid for a Minolta XG-M on eBay (which, by the way, is a pretty ingenious concept- auctions, I mean. People like winning things, right? So an auction essentially frames things as "Congratulations! You've won the right to pay for something!!!" And I actually get excited). I've since fallen in love with the camera and it's been treating me well. If it weren't for the fact that I have to pay to get film developed, the Minolta and I would probably be monogamous. Alas......

Anyway, I just developed my first few rolls of film off of the camera yesterday. I love that film doesn't offer instant gratification- that it can be days or weeks or months before you see the photos that you thought worthwhile to shoot old-skool style. That there are no take-overs. That you are inevitably surprised by the photos that you took and how they turned out. There's always the photo you don't remember taking. And the photo you were really excited about that ends up being all underexposed, dammit. And the last frame on the roll that more often than not ends up being one of the hottest photos ever taken, y'know?

I shot many of these film photos last week in California's Anderson Valley, where a whole crew of friends and I vacationed for a week leading up to two dear friends' wedding. Looking at these photos makes me so happy, in part because I got to experience the unexpected when I saw them for the first time and to remember some perfect moments.

It was a whirlwind week. Among many other things, I... lay out under an epic night sky and watched a meteor shower; celebrated my birthday with 40 friends (it was a night so overwhelming and love-filled that I cried so hard I couldn't breathe); biked a total of 110 miles along ocean, redwoods, vineyards and sheep; helped to organize a Grilled Cheese Invitational; participated in a Little Mermaid singalong; did a lot of singing, talking, crying, celebrating, shit talking, eating, coffee drinking, and chillin like a villian; and attended one of the most beautiful, heartfelt weddings I will ever hope to participate in. A couple of mementos:

2009-08-19T08:55:00.000-07:00

at a cafe

2009-08-19T08:48:00.001-07:00

at the beach

went back to Juhu Beach and i couldn't stop taking pics because the sun was so damn ridiculous. nothing here is toned, everything really was shimmery. really, Sun, you were out of control this evening.

2009-08-17T16:40:00.000-07:00

j + sve | august 15, 2009

2009-08-15T09:30:00.000-07:00

swine flu: it's hip to be healthy

2009-08-14T11:59:00.000-07:00

paan-wallah

2009-08-12T15:31:00.000-07:00

grilled cheese invitational

Going off of the guidelines of the original Grilled Cheese Invitational, my friends and I hosted our own 1st Annual Wellspring Grilled Cheese Invitational. It was intense, both aesthetically and gastronomically.

Winners included...

The Fatback, which was crumbles of cheese sandwiched between two slices of heavily buttered bread with more cheese sprinkled on top and then grilled.... Essentially, melted cheese held together with butter.

The Cowboy, an open-faced sandwich of cheese, deli turkey, beef jerky, black pepper and cilantro.

Midnight Delight, a dessert sandwich composed of Brie, crumbled walnuts and syrup sandwiched in a French toast croissant with raspberry jam dip.

2009-08-12T10:13:00.000-07:00

"so fresh and so clean, clean"

In India, it's common for people to have their laundry done, and I'm amazed that when my laundry comes back that it's so fresh, so perfectly folded and pressed, and without a single crease out of place. it needed to be captured. also, i'm reminded of outkast all the way in mumbai. strange.

2009-08-11T12:21:00.000-07:00

harmonium

2009-08-11T10:13:00.001-07:00

catching up

I've been playing with focus.
Also, I <3 the 50 mm/1.8 lens. <3 it. s

2009-08-09T11:05:00.001-07:00

my first post

I'm in mumbai.

2009-08-08T10:07:00.000-07:00

packing for a wedding

J and Sve are getting married in a week on the Philo Apple Farm. A whole crew of us are heading north to California's Anderson Valley for the week before the wedding, to go swimming in the rivers, wine tasting, biking, cupcake baking and flower picking. It's going to be mad and beautiful. So far, I've packed: two skirts, two dresses, two bikinis, a clutch, a flower thing for my hair, a book, a sleeping bag, a toothbrush, my bike, and a map to the apple farm. Most of life's essentials.

2009-05-12T15:03:00.000-07:00

about.

String Fever is a collaborative, transcontinental photo blog.

How it started.
In May of 2009, Bonnie approached Shelley about working on an online photo project together. Not having a clue what she was getting into, but feeling sure that it would be awesome, Shelley agreed and thus began String Fever. In the spirit of collaboration, String Fever is now a thriving international collective of two.

Why 'String Fever'?
The name is about making choices, which is a perpetual challenge to our Selves. In our conversations with each other, we often reference the sensation of holding dozens of different strings that all lead to different possibilities in life and feeling paralyzed by the inability to let go of any of them. String Fever is in honor and recognition of choosing, moving forward, and most of all, letting go.

What it's about.
Approximately once a week, one of us posts a "theme of the week," and the following week, the other posts a diptych -- of one of Bonnie's photos alongside one of Shelley's -- which is inspired by the theme.

Throughout the week, we also both post some of our favorite pictures that we've taken.

Sometimes we have personal reflections about crucial, timely topics ranging from world politics to gummy bears. But mostly we just take photos.

We also welcome the participation of our friends and other photographers to join in our dialogue about photography, representation, imagery, life, and everything in between.

About the bloggers.
bonnie | currently living learning reading breakfasting working therapizing cooking loving biking writing photographing and talking about her feelings in Berkeley, CA.

shelley | currently singing; spending too much time taking pictures at the beach; and obsessing over postsecret.com, snail mail, references to the End Times, futureme.org, the color red, and the sources of putrid smells in Mumbai, India. Mostly shooting with (La Femme) Nikita, her Nikon D40X and sometimes a Lomo Fisheye, or one of these, and hopefully soon one of these.

How to get involved.
• Check the site every Sunday for the diptych and the new theme!
• Post comments and link to your own photos
• "Follow" our blog, subscribe to our feed, sign up for email updates
• Share with your friends
• Send us love and e-mails.

rock on,
bonnie & shelley
a.k.a. the string fever collective

an embarrassing photo. it was Inauguration night 2009 in Washington, DC. we were understandably on our way towards getting plastered.